Familiarize Yourself

With college football's kickoff just around the corner, familiarize yourself with the new rules for 2006.

Some sample rules from my 2006 Attorney In The Del college football handbook:

Rule #1: Cheering for Maryland is mandatory. But don't get belligerent. If you get belligerent, stay home.

Rule #11: Cheering for Notre Dame is forbidden unless you (a) have actually graduated from the university with a four year degree, (b) attend Catholic Church every Sunday, (c) consider Guinness the only true beer, and (d) have at least 25% Irish blood pumping through your veins. An Irish surname may be substituted for letters c and d.

Rule #473. Steve Spurrier teams cannot be cheered for until he renounces his practice of giving Duke a vote in every year's preseason Coaches' Poll. Duke is absolutely pathetic year in and year out. The 'Ol [College] Ball Coach (sorry, his coaching skills in the pros mirror the Blue Devils' skills on the field) should be banned from participating in the poll.