Jesus Saves (the Purdue Boilermakers)...Part I

Once again, I made the trip to W. Lafayette, IN over the weekend to attend a Purdue Boilermakers football game at Ross-Ade Stadium. The Boilermakers, a preseason favorite to win the Big Ten, came into the game with a sorry 0-6 in-conference record. Consequently, this game wasn't about titles, it was about pride...and for the tailgaters, probably more about beer and hamburgers.

















Go Boilers!


In my last dispatch from the Hoosier State, I sang the praises of the Purdue University tailgate. Since you know what a wonderful experience that is already, I'll concentrate more on the game this time, particularly since the Boilermakers' opponent wasn't spotted 28 points in Saturday's match. But I can't entirely ignore the tailgate.

Our Tailgate Coordinator (TC) sent out a mass email weeks prior to the game, assigning each squad of tailgaters a specific mission. We commend our TC for ensuring that we had everything we needed to live up to the proper Purdue University tailgating standard. It is indisputable we should receive a demerit or two for our miniscule grill (I could have sworn it had an "Easy Bake" label on it), but otherwise, we attained a level of tailgating effectiveness worthy of the Purdue University stamp of approval.

Perhaps the most interesting moment of our tailgate involved the divulgence of two classified pregnancies. We had a couple of covert Moms-to-Be (M2B) attempting to inconspicuously drink bottles of water in lieu of alcohol, hoping that their secret would remain safe. Best part: neither knew the other was pregnant. But the beans were spilled when the following conversation was initiated by one of the Fathers-to-Be (F2B):

F2B: "M2B1, do you need anything to drink."
M2B1: "Ummmm. I'm drinking water."
F2B: "All day?"
M2B1: "Uh...yep."
F2B: "You're drinking water all day, too?"
M2B1: "All day, too?!" Turns to M2B2: "You're drinking water all day, too?!"
M2b2: "Yep!"
M2B1/M2B2, in unison: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Congratulations!"
F2B to Tailgate: "Hey, everyone. We have an announcement to make. We have a couple of water drinkers over here!"
Tailgate: ...murmurs...confusion...
Tailgater1: "Hey. I think he mean's they're pregnant!"
Tailgate: "Oh! Congratulations!"

After all the pomp and circumstance died down, and the tailgaters had their fill of beer (or water as it were), the tailgate quickly wrapped up and the party-goers joined the throng headed to Ross-Ade for the start of the game.

This week's opponent: the Michigan State Spartans. Michigan State started the season hot, climbing the polls towards the top 10 after beating Notre Dame in OT early in the season. The Big Ten schedule got the better of them in recent games, however, as the Spartans fell to Michigan, Ohio State, and red-hot Northwestern to drop three of its previous four games. The Spartans needed a win to keep their hopes of becoming bowl eligible alive.




















The Michigan State Spartan prowls the sidelines

Purdue, on the other hand, was just looking for something to do on a Saturday afternoon. Riding a six-game losing streak (pathetically, all in-conference) into the game, the Boilermakers were just hoping to put up a good fight before taking on Illinois and Indiana the next two weekends in a battle for last place in the Big Ten.

Purdue won the toss and elected to defer. Michigan State chose the ball and promptly showed Purdue what to do with it, as they hastily shoved it down Purdue's hapless throats. One minute and 37 seconds later, it was 7-0 Spartans. Could this be a repeat of the Notre Dame game?

Hardly. Purdue fought right back. After running some time off the clock, Jerod Void took the ball on handoff from freshman QB Curtis Painter to the house, 64 yards later. 7-7.

Not to be outdone, Michigan State scored again on a one-yard carry less than three minutes later, making quick work of college football's third worst defense. 14-7, Spartans.

One good TD deserves another. Purdue equalized the score 15 minutes later on a 39 yard TD pass from Painter to WR Dorien Bryant. 14-14. We have a ballgame.

Shortly after Michigan State gave the ball back to Purdue came the stunner. Purdue methodically drove down the field as time slid off the clock toward halftime. Looking strong, the Boilermakers picked apart the Spartan D and, as they approached the red zone, appeared poised to head into the locker room with an advantage of at least 3 points. Then disaster struck. Purdue's Painter dropped back to pass and was quickly met by a crushing sack that jarred the pigskin loose. Rather than fall on the ball, a Spartan LB picked up the ball and started running towards the Purdue endzone. At midfield, a trio of Purdue pursuers converged on the LB like a pack of Jurrasic Park raptors and caused another fumble. The ball somehow rolled backwards and to the left about ten yards...and bounced into the waiting hands of another Michigan State defender who rumbled down the field the rest of the way to the Purdue side of the field, and dove into the end zone.

Touchdown Spartans. The crowd was stunned. An extra point later, and Michigan State took the advantage to halftime, 21-14. An incredible turn of events in the blink of eye.
















Stunned Purdue football fans endure insult added to injury as the Michigan State Spartans band plays a halftime set

Would Purdue recover from this unexpected blow before the half, or would it be too deflating and pave the way to an 0-7 conference record?

(To be continued!)

UPDATE: Embarassingly, I referred to the "Fathers-to-Be" as "Husbands-to-Be" in my original post. Make no mistake, the fathers are MARRIED to their wives (the Mothers-to-Be). After all, this is a family blog. I cannot stress this enough: all potential children referred to above are "legitimate." (Hopefully this heads off any potential lawsuits for defamation...did I say that out loud?)