The Wisdom of Solomon

What do you do when a judge tells you to take the law into your own hands? Why, you settle your dispute with a little "Rock, Scissors, Paper," that's what. Ordereth one Judge Gregory Presnell:

Upon consideration of the Motion – the latest in a series of Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts – it is ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit: at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties. If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of “rock, paper, scissors.” The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006.

Many potential litigants could learn from the above. While probably not the best way to negotiate outcomes in general, when the parties are at an impasse, the above ruling could serve as a true precedent for settling hardened disputes. I can only imagine, however, how much money the parties in the above suit will pay researching player tendancies in RSP games. No doubt, some college has received grant money (ie, your tax dollars) to research such outcomes.

I wonder if ESPN can get the rights to televise the June 30 contest?